100 random things i learned in college

1. never sleep in a bed with 'the brown recluse'
2. bagels, candy, and alchol can sustain anyone for a summer
3. always have back stalls
4. comets and other astronomical sights are best viewed while smoking on a boat dock
5. it's called lake dirtybird for a reason
6. check all vents if there's a 'fishy' odor
7. never sit with you back to a car if the emergency brake isn't on
8. get rid of old clothes
9. preacher's kids are sometimes wild
10. you are not supposed to cheer on the golf course
11. guys hit harder at the slap game
12. bop it is always a party favorite
13. 'singing in the rain' cheers up everyone (especially in costume)
14. apples have various uses
15. don't go to class on st. patty's after drinking all day b/c you will pass out.
16. don't believe your friends when they swear 'no stippers'
17. it is possible to run from brothers to the sunshine store and back in 5 minutes
18. 99 cent margaritas constitute a need for spending emergency cash
19. don't date 'snaggle tooth' people
20. the phrase 'fucking dirt dick piece of shit'
21. you can please some with ralph lauren, others with salvation army
22. jager shots and raspberry lit's require cigarettes
23. the proper way to dress a tuacua shot
24. all the words to rivers
25. lunch is best on friday
26. jill had a pogo stick when she was little
27. how to break into the football stadium in ponca
28. live goldfish continue to 'swim' in your stomach for days
29. brass monkey is disgusting
30. what INDAIN tacos are
31. kwan has a real name
32. mcalister has the best italian food (lamb fries)
33. the kappa house always has hot mailmen
34. driving to denver and back on a bus makes for a long weekend
35. dial a tow takes forever on new year's eve
36. don't leave mcclure overnight in mexico
37. check to make sure les' shirt is on correctly
38. the village in ada is not safe for single girls
39. you don't have to be a veteran to go to the vfw
40. sometimes it takes 14 hours to get to college station
41. always carry grape gum
42. les can only play 1 song on the piano
43. do not dress up for class
44. difference in indians, dots & feathers
45. the cable auction is very competitive
46. the meaning of 'zax'
47. red room stories
48. how to rig a tv with aluminum foil
49. all about boob jobs
50. kat will dress up for random holidays
51. don't admit you were wrong to standards = no punishment
52. you are allowed to ride red-eyed horse statues at 3 a.m.
53. kelvin says 'g.f.' all the time
54. don't play quarters with tommy adler
55. all about 'hand jobs, hand jobs, hand jobs'
56. there is not a good 1411 for yellowstone
57. how to make pooh bear sandwiches
58. how to pronounce 'mount CHablis'
59. what makes up a 'texas pizza'
60. what is t.a.k. and what is t.a.e.p.p.
61. contrary to popular belief, strip bars will not hire anyone
62. don't inhale cigars
63. sometimes it doesn't matter if it rains during dave matthews
64. other times 'all my life' is all you need
65. freshman will bring plates to the third floor if requested
66. mustard and ketchup mixed is the BEST with pretzels
67. how to keep down the couch cushions
68. how to hook up the karaoke machine to the loudspeakers in the kappa house
69. why to g.k.o.d.b.
70. how evil rush is
71. what a coke date is
72. how to sneak beer into the movies
73. friday is always pizza day at the kappa house (with fat-free cheese)
74. jump out of the shower as soon as a toilet flushes
75. how to win at trivial pursuit (pick a good team)
76. going to get a coke = going to smoke, drive around, and sing loudly to chick rock
77. how to hold a fashion show - peta not invited
78. not to go to lindsey street sonic
79. tv shows, live problems and anal leakage are all open for discussion in driveways
80. sweet caroline is ALWAYS THE BEST KARAOKE SONG
81. who was the worst NCAA basketball player in history
82. you can throw out a lot of trash on the 6 hour drive to austin
83. how to knock down a fence
84. finals are not cancelled for f-5 tornadoes
85. 'cool side' at classic 50's
86. john blake is a badass motherfucker
87. best doctor pepper slushes are in ada
88. clynch has the coolest disguises in his basement
89. everyone has sex in hot tubs
90. remington provides complementary wheelchair rides
91. make sure to use tape rather than just post-its when attaching notes to passed out people
92. fat free cheese does not melt
93. not to let the guys see 'lashonda'
94. that 'every step i take, every move i make, i'll be missin you'
95. what 'take your man around the corner' really means
96. otb's catering is a lifesaver
97. fruit cocktail freezes
98. how to make a heating pad
99. some people are just SHADY
100. my friends are the best thing to ever happen to me!