selling points

the art of war - have yet to know anyone who owns this book, but still i hold out hope. might find it the single most attractive thing that anyone could possess (well, unless possessor was bearded midget or something). am giving it to preston for christmas with details on why i think that he needs to own it. is very masculine as well as intellectual; i might try to read it, but i am not interested in it for myself so much as for someone of the opposite sex.

egyptian cotton sheets - makes me want to spend the night with someone when they own good sheets. just something a/b knowing thread counts that is a major selling point to me. flannel sheets evoke complete opposite reaction.

cashmere socks - feel certain that if someone knows enough to buy cashmere socks, probably going to have good taste in clothing as well.

rainbow connection - another random one. if someone knew all the words to this song, i would be thrilled; i wouldn't know what to do with myself.

good night sweet girl - just really wish someone would say this to me every night at bedtime. don't think that is asking too much. i don't want any cuddling or even touching, just four words 'good night sweet girl'.

good night sweet girl

Been in a Beautiful Girls frame of mind as of late, maybe recalling all the Sweet Caroline from the playoffs or something, but I keep finding more and more moments throughout the day in which something from the movie applies to my life.

Willie Conway: You know how it is, the beginnings? When you first fall in love and you can't eat, you can't sleep and getting a call from her, it makes your day. It's like seeing a shooting star. Andera: It's the best. Willie Conway: Yeah, but, inevitably it goes away. It quiets down. So, this is my thing see, why get married now? Why not have two, three more of those beginning things before I, you know, settle into the big fade?
Sometimes I think I would rather fall a little bit in love with people I don’t even know that I see on the street than take a chance on love. It’s impossible to me why marriage is so important to everyone; half of them end in divorce and probably half of those that don’t, should.
Paul: Supermodels are beautiful girls, Will. A beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you've been drinking Jack and Coke all morning. She can make you feel high full of the single greatest commodity known to man - promise. Promise of a better day. Promise of a greater hope. Promise of a new tomorrow. This particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl. In her smile, in her soul, the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's going to be okay. The supermodels, Willy? That's all they are. Bottled promise. Scenes from a brand new day. Hope dancing in stiletto heels.
Same as above; it’s the promise of a better day, a greater hope, a new tomorrow. Not that I get that from a beautiful girl, but there’s lots of things that give me that feeling. I just fear that by settling down and committing to something, I will miss out on everything else that is out there. And we live in a big world, there’s plenty left for me to experience.
Marty: I like to mash snow. It gives me a tremendous feeling of self-satisfaction.
Mashing potatoes gives me the same self-satisfaction.. So does hammering. Littering used to (not sure why), but I’ve put a stop to that.
Gina: Girls with big tits have big asses. Girls with little tits have little asses. That's the way it goes. God doesn't fuck around; he's a fair guy. He gave the fatties big, beautiful tits and the skinnies little tiny niddlers. It's not my rule. If you don't like it, call him. Implants, collagen, plastic, capped teeth, the fat sucked out, the hair extended, the nose fixed, the bush shaved... These are not real women, all right? They are beauty freaks. And they make all us normal women with our wrinkles, our puckered boobs, and our cellulite feel somehow inadequate. Well I don't buy it, all right? But you guys think that if there's a chance in hell that you'll end up with one of these women, you don't give us real women anything approaching this commitment. Guys, as a gender, have got to get a grip. Otherwise, the future of the human race is in jeopardy.
Much as the outcome of 'Average Joe' reconfirmed my faith in society (seriously, did anyone think that she was EVER going to pick the geek), it's fair that God only gives so much. Not fair for people to have big boobs and a little ass - I really don't like those people - or, God forbid, vice versa. I'm a little person, but I almost think it's cheating to have a boob job just b/c then I would be disproportionate, although if someone offered to pay for one, I'm in!
Kev: No Sambuca today, Darian? Darian: It's five o'clock in the morning. Kev: Does that make it too early or too late?
Haven't we all wondered that before - is it too early or too late?
Paul: See these guys? Pete, Rizzo and Sammy B? They work all day and drink all night for 40 fucking years. Two weeks out of the year, they take a vacation and go to the Cape. What do they do? They drink all day, they drink all night. If we don't step it up, we're gonna wind up just like them. Kev: Cool.
I worry that I get caught up in doing the same thing day after day, and before I know it, six months has passed, and I've done nothing that I set out to do. Life flies by, and the things that we wish we had done years ago, we never did. We must meet challenges head on, and embrace what we are offered.
Gina: At first, after the breakup, you'll have these visions. Of you alone, 57,58, walking around, wearing a nightgown, your hair in a bun, maybe you're a librarian, heating up a can of soup for one, and worrying about the cobwebs that are growing in your womb.
Yeah, I definitely do this, although I am not heating up a can of soup for one, instead I'm cooking dinner and storing the leftovers in this bottomless freezer - it's a recurring nightmare of mine. Don't mind the librarian part, or maybe the cobwebs in my womb, but not so into the can of soup.
Willie Conway: I look at you and I think it's amazing that there's a guy out there gets to do all kinds of things with you. He gets to make you happy and spend evenings with you... Andera: ...make me martinis, listen to Van Morrison... Willie Conway: ...smell your skin... Andera: ...after a day at the beach. Willie Conway: Yeah, and read the papers... Andera: ...on a Sunday morning... Willie Conway: ...a rainy Sunday morning, and pepper your belly with baby kisses... Sorry. Andera: The thing is, there's a guy out there thinks the same thing about Tracy and he's jealous of you because you get to do all that with her.Willie Conway: Let me ask you something; can you think of anything better than making love to an attractive stranger... with just an oil light to guide your way? Can you think of anything better? Andera: Going back to Chicago. Ice cold martini. Van Morrison. Willie Conway: Sunday papers. Got ya.
Everyone always wants what they can't have. We need to learn to accept what we do have, be grateful for it, and make the best - you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need...
Tommy: Can I ask you a question? Andera: Go ahead. Tommy: How long have you been going out with you boyfriend? Andera: Eight months. Tommy: And it's good? Andera: It's very good. Tommy: He makes you happy? Andera: Yeah. I look for that in a man you know. The ones that make me miserable don't seem to last. Tommy: Right. Andera: You know there are fours words I need to hear before I go to sleep. Four little words. "Good night sweet girl." That's all it takes. I'm easy, I know, but a guy who can muster up those four words is a guy I want to stay with.
Much like my obsession with 'The Art of War', if anyone just said that to me sometime, unprompted, I'm all in. 100%, like a sign of the gods, it's fated to be...
Andera: Are you drunk? Willie Conway: I'm not sure. But the two of you look beautiful tonight.
I wish that I saw double sometimes when I drink, but I guess unless I'm seeing double of the back of my eyelids, it's never going to happen...
Paul: So you're the little neighborhood Lolita. Marty: So you're the alcoholic high school buddy shit for brains.
Just an all-together classic quote. Think I want to start referencing some of my friends as 'the alcoholic high school buddy shit for brains'.

eat this

was just reading article on becoming an omnivore (http://slate.msn.com/id/3152/) and realized that my list of food dislikes is rather lengthy. might try to reintroduce some of these foods over the next few months, but for the most part, i am steering clear.

liver/gizzards - not going to eat again EVER
raw onion - try on occasion, never like it
celery - ditto onion (it's a texture thing)
carrots - refuse uncooked, pick out of fried rice, did eat roasted
meat with bones - will eat ichen's fried chicken, quail and salmon
steak - will try this again soon, maybe David's marinated filet
milk - enough to drink it in my tea
chocolate icing - will eat on occasion
coconut - why would i even try?
catfish - can choke it down with enough ketchup
cod - reminds me of cod liver oil
lobster - do like lobster soups sometimes
raw oysters - no f'ing way
eel - again, not happening. what do we know a/b eel? it's slimy. that's how it tastes as well.
anchovies/sardines - see above
gravy - not even a remote chance in hell
canned tuna fish - smells too bad, never going to taste it
most canned veggies - fresh are better for you anyway
coffee - hmm, if i add enough sugar and cream...why start drinking st that is bad for me anyway?
cilantro - do like the cilantro soup at abuelos

so i guess i won't be trying many of these any time soon, but i think that my dislikes are quite reasonable. i have tried every single thing on the list more than once, except for tuna fish, and i just don't see the point b/c it makes me want to vomit just smelling it. have added cabbage, spinach and brussel sprouts to edible list in the last few years. also notice that lots of my dislikes start with the letter 'c'. just an observation...

never date a boy who...

is a yankees fan
has a name rhyming with mine
has a lisp or slur
sees cartoon movies in the theatre w/o a child
wears overalls
is scared of planes
wears black jeans
has a harelip
prefers 'umbrella' drinks
has an earring or any other piercing
misuses 'their', 'they're' and 'there'
wears jesus sandals
played a girl sport or took ballet (unless for football reasons)
is an undertaker
waxes ANY body part
has cauliflower ear
can't drive a standard
has a last name beginning with a-c or u-z
dyes/highlights his hair
sleeps on flannel sheets
doesn't know how to grill
can't tie his own tie
doesn't wear cologne
drives a girl car
has facial hair (besides sideburns)
is a vegetarian
is on steroids
doesn't own a suit
speaks in tongues
doesn't understand point spreads OR has a gambling problem
listens to barbra streisand or celine dion
doesn't watch espn
can't change a flat tire
orders ultra-light beer
doesn't own tools
doesn't know the dif. in a hotel and a motel
is scared of bugs
doesn't believe in God
smacks
eats government cheese
drives a minivan that isn't a work car
wears tapered jeans
has dreadlocks
works in a mine
doesn't eat seafood
doesn't wear a belt
has dirty fingernails
has a girl's name

thanks be to...

Things I for which I am thankful in 2004 (in no particular order):

'IT'S OVER! THE RED SOX WIN THE WORLD SERIES!'
The Boy Wonder's Thanksgiving 2003 at the Schilling's
Manny Ortez
The OC
Allsups burritos
Adrian Peterson
MFY's WORST COLLAPSE EVER
MTV, Food Network, E!
Bill James
The Player's Union - not allowing Slappy to cut his salary
Hotmail
Johnny Damon
Hastings Value Books
The Bloody Sock
Tom Brady
Plastic cigarettes
Golden Light Burgers
Jason White's Bionic Knees
http://www.bostondirtdogs.com
Downloadable music
25 men who believed in 'Destination'
Coldstone cake batter ice cream
Taco Villa bean and cheese burritos
ESPN
Tony Clark's bad bounce (certainly no ground rule doubles when he played for the Sox)
Laguna Beach
Bill Simmons and Page 2
SoSH
Good Hope Vanilla Tea
http://www.imdb.com
Jeans
Stocking caps
Little Black Dress
http://www.launchcast.com
Unstressful employment
Orange Gatorade
Baby Powder
Voting recounts
Bonnie Bell Sugar Shake Lip Smackers
October 27th
11 victories

idiots

Congratulations Again To My World Champion Idiots!
idiot: noun, a member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
Ambrose Bierce